Once upon a time there was a little boy named Anonymous who grew up in the beautiful city of Anywhere. He grew up and went to college and occasionally made some pretty bad decisions. These are his stories.
April 23, 2007.
Anonymous took a trip with his good friend Unknown to visit the beautiful costal city of Santa Somewhere to visit Unknown’s brother, Guy #1. The two friends took the train. When they arrived in Santa Somewhere, they were taken to Guy #1’s house where they were asked to play beer pong. This was Anonymous’ first experience with beer pong. He lost. He thinks. He can’t really remember. It was like a year ago, cut him some slack.
Anyway, after a few games of beer pong it became dark, and as Anonymous and Unknown were buzzed, the two grabbed some road beers and began to walk the streets of Santa Somewhere, a booming college town with parties at every house, and began to make some very temporary friends. Unknown began to try to attract women, by asking them if they had seen his lost puppy.
“Oh no!” Replied one girl, “What’s your dog’s name?”
After a pause that took much too long, Unknown said, simply, “Rodrigo.”
This did not satisfy the girl, who felt offended by the man looking for a non-existent canine. She promptly walked away. Unknown, unphased by the rejection, kept asking strangers if they had seen his dog. Some seemed helpful, but none wanted to talk to him for a long time.
Unknown was distraught. His best pick up line had failed. After some thought, he kicked it up a notch. A bit notch.
“Have you seen my Nobel Peace Prize?” He asked another girl.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I dropped my Nobel Peace Prize, have you seen it?”
“Um, No.”
Anonymous found this amusing, and laughed. The girl walked away. Unknown continued to yell at strangers about his Nobel Prize for the better part of thirty minutes. The two boys then returned to the house, where a party was in full swing. After obtaining more disgusting Natural Light, they went on a balcony to watch a band play.
“That singer looks strange. Why is that?” Asked Unknown.”
“He has one leg, man.” Replied Anonymous.
“I’m gonna tip him over.”
“Don’t tip him over.”
“I’M GONNA TIP HIM OVER!”
“Oh Jesus.”
“HEY, YOU, I’M GONNA TIP YOU OVER.”
The singer of the band looked up. Anonymous then helped escort his friend away from the band, and they wandered the streets once more, this time more inebriated than the last.
“I’m gonna pee in this alley.” Said Unknown.
Anonymous just watched as his friend urinated on the side of the only walkway to the beach in a mile, as did the dozens of people using the walkway. Then Anonymous pushed his friend into the wall, spraying urine all over Unknown’s clothes.
“Holy crap, I’m gonna piss on you!” Unknown screamed, and proceeded to chase Anonymous up the walkway with his member in his hand, spraying his #1 through the air.
Anonymous managed to dodge the vile piss, and the two made amends and proceeded to a famous all-night nacho restaurant. While in the long, 2am line for nachos, Unknown began doing mock-push-ups on the wall of the restaurant, yelling, “I am the strongest man ever!”
People began to stare, much to Anonymous’ amusement. They ordered and ate some nachos.
Anonymous forgot how they got home or went to sleep. Oh, and somewhere in there they got Crépes. On second thought, this story is much more about Unknown than Anonymous. Maybe he remembers.
I liked the story but it is really to hard to follow. You should assign fake names next time. It got confusing, I wanted to give up but i didnt. Really, simply improve your skills as a writer. Christ, Nonny!