By: A.P. Daniels
The Police
I can’t imagine a meaner gift than to buy somebody you hate tickets to see this band live. The Police are only good for two things. Writing articles about how much they suck, and getting dangerously drunk. This band should only survive on your computer, heard only when playing the infamous “Roxanne” drinking game. Hey Sting, stop dating prostitutes.
Influence: n/a
Verdict: Why is this band popular?
Aerosmith
A bunch of ballady songs that seem to be faked by the clownish lead singer Steven Tyler and the oversized guitar slangin’ Joe Perry. They don’t rise above anything other than “rock.” Aerosmith is just Journey but with a dirty heroine addiction. When’s the last time you ever really just fucking craved to hear some Aerosmith? They’re like a grilled cheese sandwich, if it’s in front of me I guess I’ll eat it, but you will never ever see me order it. Aerosmith doesn’t do anything so special for music that there isn’t already another band that can do it better. It’s time they start realizing this and act accordingly…with the humility that contracting Hepatitis C naturally brings.
Influence: True, without Aerosmith and “Armageddon” none of us would have had that romantic arms-length dance in the 7th and 8th grades. So for that, we are ever grateful and always willing to sarcastically and overdramatically sing along with “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” But other than that, there are plenty of other bands that easily pick up the slack in the eradication of Aerosmith. But if you questioned any astute microphone, it would tell you that the influence Aerosmith had on scarves and microphone fashion in general cannot be overstated.
Verdict: Why in the fieriest hell would anyone have purchased “Guitar Hero Aerosmith?”
I think that it’s safe to say that without the Police, you wouldn’t have all the good ol’ fashioned hatred we now love and expect from rappers.
I think if Sting wasn’t around, we probably wouldn’t have ever heard “Fuck tha Police” by N.W.A. Then where would we be? Fucking the Firemen? Firemen are inherently sexy. They have enough people fucking them already. We need the Police… to fuck.
Hahahaha
I didn’t read this article but correlating Aerosmith with The Police is incorrect. You can even hate The Police and it is still incorrect.
Pink is my favorite color.
ok. I’ll give you The Police. Their music hasn’t “aged” well. A few songs on the first LP still rock, but that had more to do with Copeland’s influence at the the time. The more Sting became the star the worse they got. As far as Aerosmith goes, I agree up to a point (i can hear you biting your nails in anticipation). 90% of their output is compromised and watered down (to go down smoothly – like Miller Lite). BUT, they do have one fucking amazing LP called “Rocks” (yes, I’m aware that it’s a silly and pompous LP title). Back in 1976, before the drugs fully kicked in, they rocked pretty hard. In fact, I would put “Rocks” up there in the same league as “Physical Graffiti”.
If I had to compare “Rocks” to a beer, it would be Stone Brewing’s Arogant Bastard Ale. Fuck, even Robert Christgau: the dean of American rock critics liked the LP and gave it an A -.
h8 the Aerosmiths
You kids and your damn wrongness. You can hate on Aerosmith all you want, but the Police were, are, and will forever remain the shit. Goddamn “King of Pain?” “Synchronicity 2?” “Invisible Sun?” Fuck you and your High School Musical and your Mylie Cyrus.
And don’t tell me any bullshit about you not listening to Mylie. I know for certain Dres, at least, does.
From a Reader at http://2log.biz/?blog_id=1761.
OH EM GEE.
I so TOTALLY agree with the overrated bands list — most especially The Police! Isn’t it soOoOoOo funny that the British took over Jamaica, stole their music, morphed it and made it sound craptastic and named it “The Police?!” What a rip-off! How many times can a man whose “name” is a present-tense verb say “ee-oh-oh-oh” in thirty seconds? I’m going to go with at least twelve times.
I am now going to share with you a haiku I wrote about this awful excuse for a band. I wrote it one day a little over 6 years ago over bubble tea and peanut butter toast.
i hate the police.
like, not the nypd-
like, the 80s band.
Take it, Sting. PS Your name is Gordon. We all know it.
The Police were only the biggest band in the world during the early 80s… I agree with Mr. Nett. The Police were the shit.