Jared had just sat down with a plate of pita bread and various types of hummus musing over the idea that he was now a vampire. And perhaps a homosexual. The knocking persisted.
“Balls.” He removed the plate from his lap and set it on the coffee table brushing crumbs that had fallen onto his right pant. He unlatched the door and swung it open.
“Yes?”
A gift basket quaintly put together with raffia and cellophane was pressed into his arms.
“Hello Jared,” said a handsome voice that sounded like scissors cutting through felt. Jared’s penis was suddenly all ears.
“Hello what’s this?”
A man’s head leaned around from behind the gift basket. The head, Jared noticed, belonged to a stunning set of muscular shoulders.
“It’s a welcome basket. We give one to all the newcomers.”
“Vampires?” Jared, having been born an orphan, had never been given a gift before. Ever. Because he had no parents. He cradled the basket in his arms, tenderly touching its contents to see all that it held.
A universal remote control, blank CDs, peanut brittle, lavender hand lotion, and floss among other wonders filled the basket.
A tear, possibly a gay one, trickled down his cheek. But it did not stop there. It slid under his shirt, in his pants, and down the tip of his erect penis.
“Thank you. This is so nice.” Jared laid his head on the basket’s wicker handle.
“Don’t mention it,” said the handsome head, voice, and set of shoulders.
“You work very fast. I literally just found out an hour ago that I was a vampire.”
“Well, let us know if we can do anything to help you settle in.”
“It looks like I have everything I’ll ever need right here,” said Jared motioning to the basket. “And here.” He put his hand gently on the shoulders.
“Um, you’re gay too?” asked the voice concerned.
“Yes, I think I might be.”
Before he could even finish, the basket was ripped from Jared’s embrace.
Jared, the orphan who had never been given a gift, began to weep freely. The tears streamed down his face, under his shirt, in his pants and across the staff of what was about to become a GLISTENING, VAMPIROUS, MURDER BONER!…
Thanks everybody for your submissions we received a whopping 3 emails. Which is more than anyone expected. This weeks winner is Andrew Daniel’s from Fountain Valley, a UCLA english grad. Yet, we only got three and two of them were just people telling us to “Fuck off,” and “Eat a dick.” So really anyone who has a minor grasp of the english language can be next weeks winner!
This is when you, the reader, takes over. Email dres@themiddlestchild.com with your continuation of the story. The only constraint = make it around 500 words, and make sure it blows minds. We will look at all of the submissions and choose one with which to continue with. A new segment will be posted every thursday night.
Ready, set, write!
