Tagline Reads: Dalton lives like a loner. Fights like a professional. Loves like there is no tomorrow.
On another still unemployed night 5 roommates were bored and decided to have a family movie night. Andrew decided to pup in his most recent NetFlix rental. Roadhouse. Dres and Graham were the Roadhouse veterans. John a patron, and Andrew a complete Roadhouse virgin. These are their musings.
DVD Menu: Patrick Swayze looks so hard right now. Arms crossed, feathered bangs mixed with a quaf (the first and only ever on record), the Double Deuce in the background nothing looked so glorious. Im half expecting him to jump out of the screen and put me in a head lock. Which I or any real person would not only accept but love.
4:14: – Swayze is stitching up own freshly knifed arm.
Graham: He’s more intense than Twan(Trapped in the Closet) “All I need is a bathroom”
- Both of these are two American Film classics. Just ask R. Kelly. He’ll tell you how great Trapped in the closet is…infront of a big screen showing of his own movie….while smoking a cigar…ya…
General Note: What a brilliant idea for a film. I mean besides a war film is there anything more American? (Minus his BMW) Swayze is basically a “modern” day cowboy. His only weapons, completely make shift. His only possession, his ideals. He hops from town to town cleaning up scum. Leaving a wake of blood and destroyed vaginas in his wake. You can just hear it now “Thissssssss is Ouuuuuuuurrrrr Couuuuuntryyyyyy!!!!!”
12:39: A bottle is thrown at a band and no ones gets in trouble at all.
Graham: “This is the kind of place I want to hang out in. Throw a bottle at a band and not even get in trouble” – Yes These are my friends.
14:03 Graham has a realization about how much he loves this movie.
Andrew: “You know what this movie is better than? Tombstone.”
– I have to very much disagree. And so would Doc Holiday.
14:53: Bar woman offers a touch of her breast for $20. Fuck you inflation.
- Jared(5th roommate comes down) “Does anyone else realize that this movie is basically Footloose but with an ass-kicking….I’m not saying that’s bad.”
23:00 His shirt wants to be a turtle neck. But won’t commit.
25:00(ish) -I love his Zen speech. Coaching all the bouncers.
- Swayze: “Someone calls you a cock-sucker. I want you to be nice”
- This man was so zen before Phil jackson even made it popular. Can you see it, Phil Jackson quoting Roadhouse before the 1993 finals, and Paxson getting so pumped up he basically had no choice but to drill that game winning shot. Thank you Swayze for giving us the Bulls dynasty and 72 wins in a single season.
Graham: “He’s so philosophical. I love him when he’s philosophical.”
Andrew: “Drink every-time he’s philosophical.”
CLINK!
(They are drinking Whiskey and Coke. Come back later for the 1st and original Road House drinking game)
31:14 Shameless ass shot of Swayze. Nothing but bare ass in the frame. Majestic in widescreen.
35:27: Sweaty, shirtless Swayze showing he is before the times practicing the ancient art of tai-shi by the river. Though is it so ahead of its time popular curve?. I think David Caradine would have something to say about this.
38:49: Realization kicks in. Fucker gets stabbed all the damn time.
38:52: Sack punch to the overweight guy.
Graham: “Nothing sadder than sack punch to a defenseless fat man in suspenders”
4013: Swayze: “Pain don’t hurt.” Analysis = FUCK.
45:46: My roommates focus has now shifted 60-40 in favor of drinking. That was much shorter than anticipated.
50:17: Roommate John makes perhaps the most observant comment of the entire night so far.
John: :The girl is the love child of Laura Dern and Daryl Hannah”
- Damn is that accurate.
54:19 Graham is completely convinced that the guy in the blue is Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. We will look into it. Verdict at the end of the blog.
1:00:01: One more proof that Swayze is ahead of his time. Home boy lives in a trendy loft. Be it is in a barn but I can overlook the smell of manure to be cutting edge like that.
1:02:51: NO kissing has happened yet, but the unbuckling of the pants and the lifting of the skit commences. This man knows what he wants and isn’t going to let some silly thing like “fore-play” or “permission” stand in his way.
-Moments later. A kiss on the neck, and she is pressed against the wall, lifted, enjoying the business Swayze is giving.
- Andrew: ” I swear it seems that all this man wants to do is fuck and beat ass.” He has now captured the subtle essence of the film.
1:09:00(ish) the appearance of Sam “Wise” Elliott. “I sure as ain’t gonna show you my dick” Even at 50 this man drops wisdom like he does bitches with a haymaker.
1:16:50 Swayze runs TOWARD a completely flame engulfed building. Not sure what he was running toward but I’m sure it was well worth his life. Cause the man doesn’t feel pain he could probably walk through the flames and walk out the other side with nothing more that severe 3rd degree burns which would kill him moments later. . . but he wouldn’t feel anything.
1:21:18: Sam Elliot is spotted wearing the same haircut as David Beckham in the last world-cup. The samurai looking one pulled back with the pony tail thing in the top back of the head. I knew that metro brit was completely unoriginal. Though not to be outdone he added a second tail to his pony.
1:25:28: A monster truck goes through an entire car dealership. Wow this guy really spares no expense in being a dick. Forget the complex story telling of blurring the lines of good and bad. Roadhouse throws those conventions to the wind and goes straight for the black and white. No gray area in the american flag.
1:30:22 Swayze junks the entire audience. Sweat pants and maybe a little bone? Half wood? Either-way the man is seriously junking some people.
Roommates are drunk. Just had a 10 minute conversation of how good the Wonder Years was.
Also …Graham: “I love how the 80’s was so into Karate”"
Andrew: “Thats cause their so into coke.”
- Ummmm…???
1:33:33: Bad guy: “I use to fuck guys like you in prison” I can see it now the director. Nudity? Check. Foul Language? Check. Ass Kicking? Check. Blatant racial stereotype? Check.(Black guy in the first 5 minutes.)Shit getting blown up? Check. Completely unnecessary erotic homosexual reference? Check. Ahh we now have a complete film.
Roadhouse, covering all it’s demographics.
1:34:33: SWAYZE RIPS OUT A THROAT!!!! Literally he ripped out a mans throat. God. Damn.
If I could wish for a way to die on film, with Swayze, it would have to be having my throat ripped out. That guy probably has that scene on loop the moment you step foot into his house.
General Thought: Why don’t they make films like this anymore. I’m sick of “thinking” through my films. Sometimes you just want some straight forward sex and violence. Both should be completely senseless.
1:39:50 Swayze is brought to tears by the death of his best friend. Showing his entire range of emotion he is clearly as method as method acting gets.
1:43:00(ish) Apparently Swayze has the ability to appear from thin air.
1:44:18: Fat guy with suspenders is owned by a falling stuffed polar bear. If this movie was a TV show it would have jumped the shark at the menu screen so I’ll buy the polar bear.
Credits.
Final Feelings: Re-watching this movie for the tenth time I realized a few things. This is one of those movies that falls into the category of if its on TV and you stumble across it, you most likely have to stop what you were watching and watch the movie instead. (like Independence Day) The movie was also ahead of its time. Like great art it can only be appreciated years, years, later. Perhaps even after the artists death. We shall see.
PS: That was certainly not the same actor as Buffalo Bill from Silence from the lambs.
