The Middlest Child

As I type this I lay in my bed a good 15 feet away from my giant computer. It’s more like a multi media center. I have a wireless keyboard, a wireless mouse, and a remote that can handle all my media desires.

I have been here for 18 straight hours.

I have not moved out of my bed for 18 straight hours. I have moved around IN my bed, yet have not actually left it.

I have my mini-fridge as my nightstand.

Fat Kid.

I was going to play some Nintendo Wii. But decided to watch videos of people playing it instead.

I often wonder what it would be like to have magical powers. For instance what if I was Harry Potter. Just 15 minutes ago I got my workout in by pretending my wireless media remote was my wand.

I pointed it at my penis and commanded “levicorpus.”

I laughed for a good 7 minutes as I did this. Then I realized that I was the only one in the room and I was truly entertaining my self. That’s how lazy I have gotten. I don’t even have the motivation or energy to work up a good erection.

So lazy I can’t move 4 feet to turn on my entertainment console PS3, and just sit in another location for hours and move nothing buy my digits.

But, I digress. Harry Potter and my penis. So after I came to the conclusion that my Macintosh wireless media remote wont simply give me an erection because I yell “Levicorpus,” and press the volume up button at it, I realized something.

The volume on my iTunes was increasing as the sweet nectar sounds of Elton John’s Tiny Dancer blared. Yes, sometimes I do listen to Elton John by myself while trying to command an erection with my white Macintosh wireless media remote. Judge away.

As the song reached a crescendo I concluded I don’t need to be Harry Potter because technology was the contemporary definition of magic. If I could do what I am currently doing 100 years ago I would be a shaman of epic proportions.

I got to thinking. In ten years what other kind of magic would I be able to do? I started to make a mental note of the possibilities.

But then I got tired and went to sleep.