The Middlest Child

Let the new partners week begin. Who does Katee draw? None other then Will. So the best female dancer is paired with the best male dancer. I was sitting ready to see some shit get thrown down. No one must have been happier than Will who’s old partner mysteriously “got injured.” Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Call me a conspiracy theorist but the producers asked her to step down. No doubt in my mind. It’s simple math Comfort = Better ratings. Now this may be a pessimistic attitude but I know information you don’t.

 For the first dance Katee & Will got Broadway, and they danced inside a boat. Now I know when I leap and bound around my Lund with an Evinrude engine I get caught on my fishing line and get stuck with a hook. Then my mom has to rip that bitch out of my arm and I start to hemorrhage spraying blood all over the place scaring all the fish away and my Dad yells “Stop all your damn bleeding. Slap some superglue on that!” I get taken to the hospital and the family camping trip is over for lake Winnebago in central Wisconsin.

That didn’t happen with Katee and Will.

Then Katee did her solo to the timeless panty dropper A Women’s Work by Maxwell. Don’t even begin to lie ladies. If you were a female between the ages of 23 and 33 you have fooled around with this song going on in the background at some point in time in your life. I mean how can you not? It is scientifically proven that Maxwell’s voice melts female under garments. His voice to womens delicates is like a hot knife through butter. (and yes I only wrote that paragraph to use as many words as I could for ladies underwear)

Katee did really well, and compared to Keherington the other contemporary female dancer…..well there really isn’t one.  She was fluid and was having fun. It’s almost as if there was no pressure. I believe Grace is the word.

In the super teams last effort they were given Pas de Deux. If you are a never nude and like Arrested Development and Tobias’s cut off jean shorts then you loved Will in this one. Nigel said this may have been the best or performances on So You Think You Can Dance period. As in all four seasons of it, and he was right. Really this performance was just that. They didn’t just dance, they performed and stood up the rest of the dancers for the entire night. It was really pretty and you didn’t want it to end. That’s one of the best things I can say about it.

You can stop holding your breath now….So You Think You Can Write (Write…Write..) Update. I survived the top ten and it really wasn’t even close. Fucking Thoreau. He went and got all hoity toity and thought the following poem would get him through.

I love nature.

Nature loves me.

I’m a straight G.

Nature and Me

Gonna make a baby.

Fucking elitist.

Recently our tallest member of the family has been holding down the posting boards. Im speaking of no other than Graham T.T. He has his short hilarity about sandwiches and why The Rza is the closet thing to a super hero in the music industry. Simply, its good and funny. Read this man.

You can actually catch me tomorrow on television. Its a little show I like to call So You Think You Can Dance. The results show. Don’t doubt that the poster is going to be stupid awesome. Look for it, look for your fellow family member, vote all night for Katee and tell your friends about your crazy uncle The Middlest Child who puts bourbon on your bottle top to numb your tooth ache. Can’t wait for the family reunion.